yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
