I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize