Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
