if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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