Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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