He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What drink are we having for lunch?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
