So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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