This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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