You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
