y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
