This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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