i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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