There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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