so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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