i dont even know how to be here
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
