you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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