Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
