so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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