Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
