do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize