I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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