if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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