that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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