you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
