Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
