birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
