im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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