What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
