operation harelip BJ is a go
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
