no, he came in my armpit
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize