Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
