I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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