how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
