Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
