I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
