I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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