I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
