We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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