i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
