Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
