she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The uberlube is also flammable
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
