i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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