I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
