I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
