Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
