we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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