My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
