wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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