He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
