I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
