So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am naked and annoyed.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize