I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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