why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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