Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
