Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
