I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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