your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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