dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
