i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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