dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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