Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
