My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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