HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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