i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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