what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
