if i can run in heels then i can drive
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
